The Look of Love
by candypir
Summary: For once, I didn't understand. All of it happened so quickly. I know she felt the same way. At least I thought she did. Even if she shouldn't have. Dasey. Summary inside.
1. What happened to Derek?

Summary: Derek falls in love with Casey, knowingly. He backs away- scared of what could happen. It isn't until one day that their feelings are revealed and then they're forced to go their own ways. But will they meet up again in the future? Of course they are!

AN: This story is my first fanfic all togtherrr. So please, review as you please. It isn't done. This isn't a one-shot. I have more plans for it based off of two Plain White T's songs. And as usual, reviews are welcomed with open and loving arms :D

Disclaimer: As much as I would like to, I regret to say I don't own Life with Derek. Though I'm sure I could maybe work something out with Mr. Michael Seater.

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One day, she was here, still arguing with me everyday. Still bugging me with her all-knowing personality. She was still yelling my name all throughout the house when she would find my latest attempt to hear her voice screaming at me. Because for me, that was always the best part of my day. I knew the smallest things would bug her. I knew bringing home girls and flaunting them right in front of her would annoy her. I knew it'd piss her off. That's why I did it. But I also knew she would fight back. She wouldn't take my crap. And that's how I ended up falling in love with her. Which, in itself, is just as strange. I'm Derek. I don't fall in love with girls. Especially said girl being my step-sister. But I did. Unconditionally. I don't just do that. I usually use my charm and wit to win over some girl's heart over and over again. I don't have to feel nervous when I see them or stutter when I talk to them. But I did for Casey. When I'd see her.. That's just how I would get. And I couldn't help it. I tried to stop talking to her altogether. I went out on more dates. Avoided her more. I tried to quit the feeling that was boiling inside me.

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_"Derek?" Casey nervously asked one morning before school. "Derek, why aren't you bugging me? If you have some rude plan for me at school, please just take care of it now, instead of in front of everyone. I don't need any more nicknames to add to the list with 'Klutzilla' or 'GradeGrubber' or--"_

_"It's nothing, Casey. Stop thinking the world revolves around you." Derek quietly replied._

_"But then why aren't there any snotty remarks on my outfit? Or my hair? Isn't there someone at all wrong with me today?" Casey quickly shot back. She had a feeling something was wrong with him. He just wouldn't miss out on a perfect opportunity to tease her for no good reason._

_Derek's eyes shot up to look at her for the first time in the conversation, previously only seeming to find his cereal interesting._

_"No, Casey. You're fine today. Now please, as much as I enjoy hearing your voice **so **early in the morning, can you please leave me alone?" God. Why DO I enjoy hearing her voice so early in the morning? This has to stop._

_"But Derek--"_

_And she was cut off with him grabbing his backpack and slamming his way out the back door_.

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That whole day, Derek avoided me. I noticed it. Emily dismissed it like it was nothing. But for Derek to go _that _long without harassing me, it was just weird. I waited on the edge of my seat all day. Waiting for him to make his grand appearance with a slew of insults and new nicknames. But none came. I noticed him throughout the day taking different paths to get to his classes. That's when the thought struck me. He was _ignoring _me? What did I do to him? We fought. It's what we did. It's all we knew to do. Only once in a blue moon would he be nice to me. This morning included. He actually said I looked fine today. He didn't make his comment into some rude thing, he kept it as it was. A compliment. And in that instant, my stomach bunched up into nerves and butterflies flew. I had to figure out what was wrong with him. Because whatever was wrong with him, was starting to make me weary and something was becoming wrong with me, too.

The next few days, things changed. Less yelling. Less traps set in random places of the house. Less Derek. I noticed he'd been going on more dates. He was hanging out with friends more often. I rarely saw him at home or school. Which meant I never got a chance to talk to him about it. And the scary thing was that I missed our areguements. I actually began missing him. Mom and George shrugged when I asked them where he always went. Edwin wasn't any help either. I tried to ask Sam about it but he said Derek was acting strange around him, too. Why was I going through so much trouble to firgue Derek out? I should care less about him. But that seemed to not be the case. It was becoming harder and harder for me to get angry thinking about him. I began to worry. I don't worry about Derek. I never care what he's up to. But since that day in the kitchen, I worried. And that was how we ended out our last year of high school. I worried, and he disappeared. Every now and then I would pass him in the house on the way to the bathroom or he'd be in his room with the door open. I'd see him for a couple seconds before he would notice me. And then we would stare in each other's eyes before he'd break the lock and begin avoiding me. It always lasted only seconds, before I could get any words in. The look in his eyes always frightened me. They always seemed so filled with this emotion I didn't understand. I could never place it.

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I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to fall in love with this girl. Not so hardly. It scared me, and all I could think to do was ignore her. Attempt to leave my feelings behind. I began viewing her secretly. So she would never know I saw her. I told people I was hanging out with other friends. Going out on more dates. But I really wasn't. I locked myself away. I went to the park where I grew up. I went and I would think. I would try and imagine her having the same feelings. I always thought about her. It was always her. And she would never leave my head. Sam told me she had asked him about me. He said she was worried. And I knew that was strange. Casey doesn't get worried about me often. But she was. Even Edwin and Lizzie told me they were confronted by her. And they lied for me. They knew my truth of course. They were smarter than everyone thought. And it was always in those few seconds where Casey and I would meet eachother's gaze. When I knew it would never be possible. And it always hurt. But meeting her gaze, it always seemed.. right. Impossible but right. I knew she and I could never work out. And it killed me.  
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That last day of school came for the both of us faster than we could have anticipated. And then, before we knew it, it was graduation day. We were both going to be going our seperate ways. Which is what I wanted, right? But I had to set things straight. I had to let her know my feelings before we left. Before this day ended..

He stood in the doorway of her room, always open and inviting. But this was the first time in months that he was actually standing here. Shaking with the nerves that were bundled up in him. .

"Casey..?" it was a weak tone. He hated that this is what she reduced him to.

"...Derek? Is something wrong?" He was actually trying to talk to her? She was shocked. She was in utter shock. And all of a sudden, she was even more nervous than she was before.

He tried to casually walk into her room and make it look so easy. It was near impossible.

"No, I just have a favor to ask of you." He replied, standing awkwardly near her as she fumbled with the necklace she was trying to put on.

"What is it Derek? I'm trying to get ready here and this necklace is not working with me! Nothing is going right today!" She cried out angrily.

Derek finally giving up on trying to be coy about it. Came up beside her as she stood in front of her mirror and grabbed her hands where she was trying to put the necklace on. Both shot their eyes to the other's in the mirror. Locked in a seemingly endless gaze. And then she figured out the look he always gave her. It was love.


	2. Little leans and sad shrugs

Casey knew it was this. This deep, affectionate look of love. And she only knew this because as he was looking into her eyes with this look; she was looking into his eyes with it.

"I'll help you, Casey." as he dropped her hands and without breaking the stare that they started, he simply hooked her necklace together.

"Thank you..What was it you needed again?" Casey didn't understand how it all happened. How her feelings somehow got defined with just that one look. Scared of the intense look they had started, she blinked her eyes lazily wanting to just close them and ignore the feelings she couldn't suppress any longer.

"Oh..what are you doing tonight?" Derek still watched her in the mirror. He didn't want to break the gaze they began. He finally got a look that wasn't one of confusion or had a blank void to it. He actually received one of the same looks that he always gave her. And he knew. He knew what that look was. And he couldn't help but smile. That's when he noticed as she blinked again that her body subconciously leaned backwards a little. So slightly that if he weren't mesmerized by her, he would never have noticed. He felt her small frame against his chest, very lightly. And he held back the desire to wrap his arms around her waist from behind.

"Well, Emily had invited me over to her house for one of our last movie-a-thons. Why?" Casey asked, suddenly picking her form up making it straight, suspiciously as she re-opened her eyes and saw a slow smile forming over his lips. She hadn't even noticed she was leaning until she felt her back graze his chest and stay there. "If you're worried I'll be going to any of the lame parties where your friends will be, I'm not. So if that's all you needed, you can go now. Again, thanks for helping me with my necklace."

"No, no, no. Casey. That's not what I was going to ask. I was wondering if..maybe before you went to Emily's, you could come with me to this park that I always used to go to when I was younger. And your welcome for the help on your necklace. You've always been a klutz with things, I just assumed you'd need the help." His famous smirk playing on his lips. He was so happy he just wanted to burst. He really thought this night might turn out easier than he previously thought it would. It might turn out right. **Perfect**.

"God, Derek. Stop being rude. I'm not as klutzy as I used to be. But then again, you've been so absent from this family for the past couple of months, it's understandable why you wouldn't notice." She smiled sweetly. This is exactly what she missed. This playful banter. Although, usually it turns to not so playful in a moment's time. But she didn't see the flash of anger that _usually_ plays in his eyes after she responds like that. This time she saw pain. She saw hurt. She saw him visibly flinch at her words.

"Whatever, Casey. Have fun at Emily's tonight." He spoke as he walked to the doorway again, trying to get out of there as fast as could. She saw his eyes. She saw him inside. "Case? I'm sorry." he shrugged his shoulders sadly, gave her one last look, and then he was gone.


	3. As they go on, they'll remember

AN: Thank youu to those that reviewed. I greatly appreciate it. I tried to make this one a bit more longer. As long as I could now that I'm actually into the story without wanting to give so much away. Even if there's a long ways to go still.

And as always, I don't, and probably never will, own Life with Derek or the characters. Only the sweet looks of love.

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Casey stood motionless as she watched Derek walk away and heard his door close softly. _Had he really just apologized?? _Angry and confused, Casey wasn't going to let him have the last word. It goes against everything they've always done. Stomping to his bedroom door, she threw it open without knocking.

"Why do you do--" Casey stopped abruptly as she looked at Derek. He sat there on his bed. Shirtless. With his head down looking toward the ground. But slowly, he looked up at her, startled.

"What?"

"Uh..wh-why do you do that," Casey stuttered, still shocked to see him like this, "Why do you start joking around and then go all.. quiet on me! And why are you shirtless? That's disgusting. Put a shirt on." Casey lied. It wasn't disgusting. _Ew. What? Ugh. _

"A, Casey haven't you ever heard of knocking? Shouldn't you follow by your own rules. B, I'm shirtless because I was trying to get ready for a graduation ceremony that I have to be at in 20 minutes and with Sam picking me up in 10. C, I don't go all quiet. I don't even know what you mean by that." Derek knew exactly what she meant. But lying was so much easier.

"Derek, you know what I meant. You tease me about being a klutz and then you went apologetic."

"Listen, listen. I don't care what you think I did. I was only simply apologizing for being so out of it--"

"And BEFORE that you ask me to what, go to a park with you? Why don't you take one of your bimbos you saw so feverishly these past few months? And what would be there to do at a park, anyways? Unless of course this is just some end-of -the-year joke you're trying to play on me in which case.. I'm not going!"

Derek continued to get ready quietly, letting Casey vent and ramble all she wanted. He wasn't going to interrupt her as tried to buy time to think of some excuse as to why he did invite her. Tieing his left shoe, he got up and went to the door, right beside where she was standing just as she finished her rant.

Leaning over he kissed her forehead and whispered, "Because none of those bimbos are you."

And he was saved from answering all other questions by the sound of Sam's car honking outside. He walked swiftly out of the room trying to contain the nerves he had shaking through his body.

"Bye Dad, bye Nora! I'll see you all after the ceremony."

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_He just.. He just..Oh god! Only 10 minutes left! I don't have time to think about stupid Derek. _Casey rushed back to her room trying to suppress the giddiness she felt tremoring throughout her body. She threw the rest of the items she would need for this afternoon into a bag. Saying goodbye to her mom and George and her siblings, she bounded out the door to Emily's house hoping to clear her mind of what just happened in Derek's room.

Of course, she recieved no such luck as she listened to Emily prattle on about how 'cute' Derek would look in his gown. Rolling her eyes as they made their way to the center of their graduation. _Time to face the music_ she thought to herself.  
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As soon as the ceremony was over, Casey ran to find her her family. She gratefully noticed that Derek had yet to join them.

"So Case, what are you gonna do tonight as one of your last nights here at home?"

"I was thinking--"

"About joining me tonight at the park. Remember, Case?" Derek so fondly butted into their conversation, smirking at Casey who shot him a glare.

"Actually, _Dere_, I was thinking about going to Emily's tonight." Casey angrily shot back. But faltered after seeing Derek's smirk fall from his face, only for a slight moment before recovering with a broad smile.

"Fine. But, if you change your mind, you know where I'll be. Anyways, sorry to cut the family time short and all but I was hoping to run home for a while. Start the packing process, or really just start Edwin on my packing process." Derek threw over his shoulder as he was turning away.

"Wait, Derek! Nora and I would like to get a picture of you and Casey in your gowns still." George halted Derek's movements and turned him around, pushing him gently towards Casey. Casey, suddenly losing her breath being so close to him, awkwardly put her arm around his waist as he threw his arm over her shoulder. Both smiling brightly with a look only they knew about shining back at the camera, they got the picture over with and Derek ran off to meet Sam before heading home.

"Hey, Case. Are we still on for tonight?" Emily walked over to Casey and her family.

"Actually, Em, I'm really sorry but Derek wanted me to do this really lame thing with him tonight but, maybe we could do it tomorrow afternoon?" Casey stumbled over her words hoping none of her younger siblings, or parents for that matter, would mention anything about the arguement she and Derek had just had in front of them about the night's plans.

"Oh, it's alright. Tomorrow afternoon should be fine." Emily cheerfully replied as she went to rejoin her parents and younger brother.

Casey turned back to her family smiling lightly and rolling her eyes at the knowing looks they threw her way. "I'm going home. I have plans tonight with Derek. Where does he get off even guilt tripping me into doing these things! God. I'll see y'all later."

Edwin, looking at Lizzie with a worried look on his face, ran to catch up with Casey. "Hey, about yours and Derek's thing tonight. I just.. I think you should be nice about it. I know the park he's taking you to and I'm sure it's going to really mean a lot to him that you're going. Don't shoot everything he says down with the banter y'all always do." And with that, Edwin turned back around and ran back to Marti and Lizzie and his parents, leaving a shocked and confused Casey.

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Derek still planned for her to come. As he entered the house, he gathered a few things he was wanting to take to the park with him and changed out of his nice clothes. Knowing that even if she were to go to Emily's instead, she would still run by the house. And so he waited on the couch for her, in all her blue-eyed brown-haired beauty, to walk through the door. And it was only 5 minutes later when she did.

"Derek! Where are--" She stopped yelling for him when she noticed him staring at the blank TV screen.

"I was waiting for you. Are you going to Emily's?" Derek asked, trying to keep the hope from his voice that she would say no. But he failed. He was hopeful and he knew that she would know it.

"No. Actually, I decided catching up and making mends before leaving would be better. I'm going to go over to her house tomorrow afternoon instead. When did you want to go to the park?" She asked cautiously, trying to listen to Edwin's warning and still calculate the expressions running through Derek's face as she spoke.

He beamed up at her. "I'm ready to go when you are. But you should really change and grab a jacket. It's supposed to be cold tonight. Like every other night." Derek was thrilled that she actually gave up her plans for Emily to be with him.

"Whatever, I'll go change then." She smiled cautiously before heading up the stairs to her bedroom. Tonight she was going to try and have fun. Even if she was worried about what was going to happen. She had to have fun. For Derek.

AN: review pleasse? The next chapter should be done in moment's time.


	4. And then it rained

AN: Here it is. I was gone for the weekend and extremely busy but I felt compelled to get this chapter out. And I'm glad I did.

Disclaimer: A girl can wish.

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"So, how long has it been since you went to the park we're going to?" Casey asked whlie they walked down the street side by side. It had only taken her a couple minutes to change before she was ready to go to. And yet still on the way out, trying to push down her nerves, she had managed to forget her jacket. Derek hadn't even noticed since he was so lost in thought. _Stupid cold weather. Stupid Derek for wanting to go out in the cold weather. Stupid me for forgetting my jacket. _Casey shivered in the darkness trying to make it as subtle as possible.

Derek was just about to answer her question when she shivered. He glanced over at her and realized she forgot her jacket.

"You forgot your jacket? I even reminded you to grab it, Case." Derek rolled his eyes and shrugged off his own while handing it to her. "And it was exactly one night ago when I was last there."

Casey gaped at him handing her the jacket. It seemed like such a natural thing. Something she'd only seen couples do. She put the jacket on and was overcome with his sweet scent. It was a mixture of cologne and body wash, she knew. She saw his bottles every morning in the bathroom for the past 2 years. But she was still never so close to it. Never really got to smell it together. She loved it. She loved the feeling of the cool leather warmed by his body on her own. She loved the way the sleeves hung past her hands as she walked.

"Only a day? I thought it was your **childhood **park? How much longer will it take to get there? And are you sure you aren't cold? You can have your jacket back if you want." She replied secretly hoping he would say no so she could continue to be wrapped up in his scent.

"Calm down, Casey. I'll explain everything in good time. And don't worry, I'm fine. Keep the jacket. We wouldn't want Princess Casey freezing, now would we?" Derek laughed. He didn't know how he was going to do this. Seeing her there in his jacket was breathtaking. It was huge on her small frame and it made her look gorgeous. He never wanted her to take it off. It made him even more nervous.

They were nearing the park and they could see the street lamps illuminating the scattered picnic tables, trails, and sandboxes.

"This is it, Casey," he spoke softly as he looked at her with hooded eyes. "This is my childhood and this is my last couple months."

Casey met his eyes with confusion. "The last couple months? But..wait. Are you serious? So I'm not the first girl you've brought here. Great. That's so typical of you, Derek."

Derek was taken aback by her anger. "No, no! That's not what I meant at all. I just meant--"

"I don't care, Derek," she looked down again, her anger seeping away and only sadness replacing it. "I don't care." she whispered as she looked up and met his eyes.

"I do, though. There were no girls the past couple months, Casey. There were no parties that I went to. There were no new friends. It was just you. It was always you." Derek whispered truthfully, the honesty in his voice overcoming all other emotions. He stared into her eyes hoping she would understand what he was trying to say. He was scared. Scared of the rejection he was almost sure to find. And yet he still had hope lingering in him. She had still come to the park with him, ditching her best friend.

Casey looked at him. wide-eyed. Shock coursed through her body trying to soak in the words he spoke. She lost her breath and her heart beat erratically and out of rhythm. It took her moments before she was able to grasp what he said. '_It was always you.' I can't believe it. Wait, what does that even mean? What is he trying to tell me? _

"Derek, I don't understand. What does that mean?"

"It means I spend every minute of my day thinking about you. It means everynight I have been here trying to put myself in a place where things seemed so easy to understand, where all I knew what to do was how to be a smooth talker in order to get on the swing, or get some random girl to share her shovel and pales with me. It means every night I dream of you and this moment. This moment where I let you know how in love with you I am. And how I would follow you everywhere, give up my own dreams, just to be with you. Just to have more moments like these." Derek still stared into her eyes. He watched them as they slowly filled with tears as he spoke. And as soon as he was done, she ran into his arms breaking the locked gaze. He closed his arms around her and just held her. Listen to her cry softly. He ran his fingers through her brown hair. She slowly pulled away from him, seeing the look of love in his own eyes again.

"Casey, I don't expect you to feel the same way. I don't want you to think this is sudden. I don't want to scare you away. I just want you to know that you are my life. I'm not going to hurt you. Not anymore than I already have." Derek whispered/

Casey stood on her tip toes and kissed him softly. Once, twice, a third, each time so softly neither would have known it was happening except for the shock and tingling waves that was sent through their bodies as their lips touched.

"I feel the same way, Derek." Casey spoke against his chest, smiling. Derek felt her smile against his chest and he broke into a laugh and grinned. He picked her up by the waist and hugged her, never wanting to let go. Never wanting to forget the feel of her arms wrapped around his neck.

And then it rained.

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AN: And there you have it. Probably the hardest chapter yet. Review?


	5. Warm showers and sad hearts

AN: Sorry for such the long wait. I didn't know how hard it would be to get this chapter out. I was easily mistaken when I called the park chapter the hardest. This one was certainly harder. It's giong to be taking a more angsty spin now, but please, continue reading and reviewing because the angst? Won't last for long. I promise.

Thank you so much for all the reviews. It's definitely pushed me to keep going. And this chapter was just so aggrivating that I was about ready to give up. Thank you keriberi2003 for your continued support and kind words. I can't thank you enough for your help.

Disclaimer: I'm still here, dreaming.

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"Derek, maybe it's time we go home." Casey laughed as she looked at his soaked form and then down at herself.

They'd been playing in the rain at the park for almost an hour now, and they were soaking. Casey had thrown his jacket under one of the covered pavillions so it wouldn't get ruined and then embraced the rain with open arms. Derek had been more hesitant to do so before he saw Casey dancing and heading towards the slides. He ran to catch up and by the time he got there she was just going down one of them. Derek was there to catch her. They then spent their time acting like children, running around the park and throwing their caution to the wind.

"You know, for once Casey, you may be right." Derek grinned at her as she gave him a look of disbelief. She was just about to walk away in a huff, still obviously acting like a child, before he gently grabbed her wrist and pulled her into his wet arms. "You know I'm kidding. Forgive me?" He leaned down and kissed her still pouting lips softly.

"Fine. But only because I know the truth." Casey looked at him sheepishly.

"Of course you do, and what might that be?" Derek looked at her with a smirk on his lips.

"That..I could beat you home." Casey laughed as she saw his smirk turn into confusion before she started running.

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Nora and George were taken aback as they watched their two children, now young adults, throwing the front door open, soaking wet. The two were laughing and out of breath.

"Good evening, Case. Derek. How was the park.. and the rain?" Nora looked at the floor as she saw the puddles slowly forming on it. George laughed as he knew what his wife was thinking.

"Well, I think Casey here has finally learned how to have fun." Derek replied grinning at Nora, earning him a slap to the chest.

"It was really fun mom, but I think I'm going to go shower and get ready for bed."

"Alright, sweetie. Just put your clothes in the hamper and I'll wash and dry them tonight. Tomorrow is packing day, so, we need to get everything done. And then you're supposed to be going to Emily's in the afternoon. We'll work out all the other things tomorrow morning, alright?"

And then Casey's world came crashing down. _Packing day._ _How could I forget that?.._ She nodded and looked towards Derek cautiously, seeing his eyes down on the floor.

Before his eyes could meet hers, she ran upstairs. Her thoughts were screaming at her. In just two days she would be in the States, starting a new life. She would be leaving her home, her family, her Derek. _Oh god. He's going to want to come with. But he can't. We both know that.  
_

Casey ran into her room, trying to get as little water as possible not on the floor. She quickly grabbed her pajamas and a towel and headed to the bathroom for a warm shower.

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"Is everything okay, Derek?" George asked uneasily as he noticed his son unusually quiet.

"What? Oh, yeah, Dad. I'm fine. I think I'm going to go make some hot chocolate for Case and me." Derek walked in a slumber past his father and Nora to the kitchen. He forgot about reality. He forgot that what happened at the park was unethical. He forgot that she had a future that was planned to be without him. He forgot that he had a future that was planned to be without her.

Derek went through the motions as he prepared the warm drinks for himself and the girl he loved. Walking quietly upstairs, he heard the shower turning off. Knowing it would only be a few moments before she would emerge from the bathroom, he placed the mug in her room on her desk and scribbled quickly on a piece of paper.

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Casey came out of the bathroom feeling content and warm after the lasting shower. Her pajamas felt even more comforting than they usually did. She paused in the doorway, eyeing the mug sitting on her desk with steam still rolling off it. She smiled lightly as she approached it and found it sitting on a note.

_  
I know what you're thinking. **This can work. **Don't close up on me now.  
_

Casey closed her eyes slowly, replaying the park's events. Repeating in her mind Derek's words of affection and love. Opening her eyes again, not wanting to let the memories go yet, she saw a pack of pictures on her bed with a blank scrapbook album beneath it. Moving to her bed with the mug and note in hand, she began working on the scrapbook. Then she heard the shower turn on.

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Derek heard her go in her room. So he knew she got the hot chocolate and the note. Now he just had to wait. He had to give her time. He knew she'd want and need it. He decided to shower and get out of his wet clothes that were making a trail all around the house.

As he purposefully walked by her room, he noticed her cutting and gluing things. He stared for only a few short seconds before pushing past his urge to go in, and going to the bathroom. She never even looked up.


	6. A new perspective

AN: still has the alerts on new stories, new chapters, and reviews down. Frustrating, I know. But it's actually keeping me more on my toes, always constantly checking for my favorite story updates or new stories. I was going to wait until after the alerts were up and going again but, figured why bother?

So, without further ado..except minus the disclaimer, here it is. All shiney and new, yes?

Disclaimer:I'll be soon passing a long a petition so I can have the rights of the show. Mainly Derek, but still. Until then though, I will wait. I'm sure you'll soon be getting the petition in the mail. I'll share if you sign. Baha.

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"Derek?" Casey whispered to the darkness, slightly opening his door and praying it wouldn't squeak.

But of course, her prayers went unanswered as she opened the door more, letting out a loud squeak into the night.

She listened intently for Derek's breathing to go back to normal as she crept softly into his room, trying not to trip over the clothes, shoes, and plenty of other things she didn't even care to think about, littered all over his floor.

"Derek? Please wake up." She still spoke in a hushed tone, but this time more louder and firmer.

She made her way to his bed where she saw his peacfully sleeping form bundled in his blankets. _A good night's sleep. That makes one of us. _

She bent down and kissed his cheek, and with the back if her left hand followed the right side of his face, along his jawbone.

Stirring awake, Derek saw a form sitting on his bed looking at him.

"Casey?" He muttered in confusion.

"I think.. I think we need to talk. Okay? Can you wake up enough to do that?" Casey was wracked with nerves. She wasn't sure still what she was going to say but after she finished the scrap book, she went through it and realized all it was made of were pictures of her and Derek and the past couple of years that they were forced to become accustomed to eachother. It dawned on her then that the look her parents gave her after the graduation ceremony earlier that day wasn't because they knew of the arguement she and Derek had had in front of them about the park, it was a look of knowledge; they knew what was going on and they knew what tonight would mean to their two oldest. They didn't argue their kids going to the park, instead, they gathered as many photos of the two they could find and placed them in Casey's room with an album. Casey knew it was their way of being okay with it. She just didn't know if _she_ was okay with it or not.

"I actually think that's a good idea, and I'm assuming that since you **are **sitting here in the middle of the night, that time to talk would be right now?"

Casey slowly nodded her head, never taking her eyes off his still sleepy face.

"Alright then, let's get to it so we can both be ready for the big "packing day" tomorrow." Derek said sarcastically, and more harsh than he intended it to come out.

Casey flinched at the words and handed him the album. Taking a deep breath, she began what she hoped would come out right.

"I know that what happened tonight..was a good thing for the both of us, but I also know that it can hurt us." For the second time since being in his room, she was proved wrong again.

Derek looked down at the book that was thrusted into his lap and tried to concentrate on her quickly spoken words.

"What I mean is that our lives are just now starting. It's a new fresh. And I just think--"

"You think we shouldn't be together for it. For the new fresh? That's so like you, Casey. What are you scared of?" Derek's anger and dismay beginning to come on full force as his mind and body began to be more alert to the night.

"Derek..Please.." Casey spoke in a hushed whisper, tears forming in her eyes, threatening to fall at any moment.

"Case, god, come here, I'm so sorry." Derek reached over to the trembling girl and pulled him into his arms, sitting her on his lap. "This whole thing is so unbelievably frustrating. You don't even know what I've been going through, thinking of all the possibilities and yet all of them still ending the same. You going to Stanford in California and me going to University of West Florida. I just want to be with you." Derek sighed as he nuzzled her still trembling neck, breathing in the scent of her hair and body wash.

Casey allowed herself to be pulled into his arms, hoping to revive the feelings from the park, the carefree-no-need-to-care-at-all-about-anything ones. It was impossible. His words struck her. She watched his eyes glance around his room at all his childhood belongings and saw how empty they looked. How lifeless they were. He looked at her and immediately they were filled with compassion and love. She shivered.

"Months ago I never would have dreamt of all this, Casey. After I got accepted to UWF, I was actually thankful to be putting so much distance between us. I was grateful. And now, I'm miserable. Can't we just.. skip it all? Can't we just run away from everything, from everyone?" His voice was pleading. Begging.

"Derek, we can't. You know that just as much as I do. I..I love you. I do. But I can't imagine us not following our dreams. I don't want that for either of us."

"Why not?" Derek was falling apart when he was supposed to be the strong one, the one that was always so sure of things, the one that knew exactly what to do in almost every situation.

"Let me put it into some perspective, please. Think about it this way. If you and Kendra were still together to this day, and y'all were about to leave for college, what would you do? Go out and get married all of a sudden? Lose sight of your dreams? Give up everything?"

Derek was stunned into silence. He honestly wouldn't know what he would do.

"Dere, we need to do this. We need to.. to give eachother this time to grow. I'm not going to give up on us. I know we could work. But we need this to happen, can you please agree with me?"

"Casey. This is was I can do. I can come back to this house and that park on this day every single year from now waiting for you to be ready for us. I can wait for you. That's what I can do. Please don't try and stop me. It's what I need to do. I need to hang on to this hope for us. Even if you don't."

Casey threw her arms around Derek's neck and began laughing.

"Thank you. I won't make you wait for long, Derek. I promise. I won't." She said smiling and kissed his lips.

Smiling back at her, he returned the kiss.

"Now that we've had this conversation? Can you please get off? I think I've lost all feeling to my legs." He smirked, looking down at Casey who was still sitting on his lap.

"Augh. No. I'm not. Deal with me." She replied hoping he wouldn't make her leave her spot.

"Fine." Derek laughed as her eyes widened when he picked her up off him and laid her down on his bed, lifting the covers and putting them on top of her. He hooked his left arm under her shoulders and turned onto his left side, looping his right arm across her tiny waist. She snuggled into his blankets and arms, smiling. _I guess.. a good night's rest for the both of us. I can handle that. _

The scrapbook laying on the floor by the bed. Untouched. Unopened. The two smiling faces staring out into the darkness.

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AN: And voila. Reviews?


	7. The connection

AN: My god. I am so utterly sorry. My Internet decided to die for some unknown reason and I just never bothered to even turn my computer _on_. I was, though, brainstorming on how to set up my next chapter and this being the product, I hope I fulfilled my thoughts. So once again, I am completely in disgust of myself for neglecting this fanfiction, like a child to me, for so long. Forgive me?

Disclaimer: I know. You know. No need to keep rubbing it in.

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Derek rolled his eyes at his father's blatant snoring. He heard the plane ride would be long. But he really didn't figure it to be **this **long. Letting his eyes droop, he snapped his eyes open as he remembered something.

Leaning down to rummage through his black backpack underneath the seat in front of him, he smiled as he pulled out the item that had been thrust into his hands before he left.

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Casey felt her bottom lip trembling as her mother continued to tidy up her lone dorm room. Boxes still littered the floor around her bed but she knew it would take still a long while to get them out of here.

"Mom..you'll come visit, right?"

"Oh, Case," Nora, surprised at the cracking and hoarse sound of her daughter's voice, turned around and saw the tears that were threatening to fall, "I'll visit and call all the time. There is no denying that. I am so proud of you. Look at where you are! You should be happy! This is a new life for you. This is really all you ever wanted. You'll find that you won't need me as much as you think you do." Nora smiled, wrapping her arm around Casey's shoulders.

"I know but… I don't know. I'm just being stupid. You're right. This is what I've _dreamed_ about. I should be out there, making new friends, meeting new boys, setting up a steady study group, and figuring out ways to organize all this mess." Casey realized, beaming brightly.

She stood up and walked over to one of the open, half-empty boxes and pulled out picture frame after picture frame, setting them on desks, dressers, hanging them on hooks around the room. Her mother sat on the bed and watched her, knowing that this will be a good thing for the both of them.

She watched her daughter abruptly stop as she sifted through the 4 or so frames in her hands.

"Mom, where did these come from?" Casey asked quietly, her back still facing her mom. She was shocked. She didn't know where these had come from. She wasn't sure if she wanted to know.

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Derek remembered, and kept, her promise. He knew she wanted him to wait to open it, so he did. The anticipation danced along in his fingers as he picked at the paper enclosing whatever it was she held so dear. He could just picture her sprawled out on her bed with wrapping paper and ribbons and tape making a messy blanket. He had only seen a glimpse of it. Found it on his bedroom floor and could only look at the shape of it before she had yanked it out of his hand. She had reprimanded him for even picking it _up_ when it was on his floor. He smiled at the memory of that morning.

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_  
It was as though, for the first time in their lives, they were really waking up with the feel of refreshing vibes running through their bodies. And it was all due to the person who owned the body laying next to them. _

_  
They had woken up early and just lain in bed for hours, talking, cuddling, and feeling the other's body against theirs for what could have been their last tender moment together in solitude. When they heard quiet movements from the first story, Casey crept out of Derek's room, with much regret, and to her own- where she did nothing but sit on the end of her bed and hold the album in her hands. _

_  
She had made a speech for him. For when she was going to give it to him. But after their talk, she realized she should do it differently. Waiting until she thought her whole family was up and knew they wouldn't look at her suspiciously for being up so early, she climbed down both sets of stairs into her parents bedroom to gather some materials. _

_----------------------------------------------------------_

_Watching Casey tiptoe out of his bedroom made a smile play on his lips. He knew though, with sadness, that that would be their first, and only, night to lay and sleep together. To be wrapped in eachother's arms. To be able to trace the other's face with the tenderness and love that flowed freely out of their fingertips. But he still loved every single second of it. Even with the pain, he knew he would never forget this and he would never find another moment in time that could be better than this. _

_  
He heard someone shuffling up the stairs and then her bedroom door softly click closed. And he knew it was safe to do what he needed. To talk to her mom. _

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"Casey, honey, I'll tell you. But please, don't be angry or upset or anything like that. Remember, this is happy, this is freedom." Nora spoke, trying to gather all her thoughts. She hadn't imagined she'd have to be the one to explain it to her daughter. And she knew exactly who she was going to have a talk with as soon as she knew he was in.

Casey huffed and folded her arms, picture frames still in her hands. "Go on, then."

"Sweetie, I know all about it. Derek had talked to me about it, to both George and me. He had asked for permission to continue loving you, without feeling guilty or wrong. And we understand, Casey. We don't judge either of you! We both think it's fabulous, a little hard for others, I'm sure, to understand, but we support you both." Nora spoke, quickly and assuredly.

Casey's eyes widened. _Derek..told...my mother. Without me even there... All on his own.. How could he?I mean, I thought they both kind of knew, but for when we made it official, I would have __**liked **__to have been there.. _She tried to slow down and block her thoughts, to not let any emotions play out on her face for her mother to read. Too late.

"He did it for **you.** He didn't want to hide it around us. Honey, he asked me for help. He wanted to leave you with something, memories that could last forever. He wanted to give you those." Nora pointed to the objects in Casey's hands. Casey closed her eyes slowly. Once again, trying to blink back the tears and it made it harder yet to breathe for her.

Casey placed the frames back in the box and went to another box, forcing a smile to grace her lips. "Wanna help me finish? We don't have much longer before you need to head back to the airport. Why bother talking about this stuff?"

And her mother, watching uneasily as her mother began unpacking other boxes, dropped the subject and went to work.

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He grinned as he flipped page after page, reading all the little notes and captions she carefully had written under each picture that she had included in what she called, "The Set Up to Our Lives." He had traced the title that she had cursively written on the front of the album, above the picture of the two at graduation, for minutes. And he realized that what she wrote on the front of the wrapping paper took on a whole new meaning.

Just then, the stewardess came by with the trashbag, offering it out to anyone who needed to discard anything. She smiled sweetly at Derek as he looked up at her and smirked. Throwing his cup in the bag, he began balling up the wrapping paper. And before he knew what was happening, before he could even react to it, the last thing he saw before the passengers in front of him poured the remaining contents of their cups into the trash, was, in silver paint pen- written in bold block letters he knew took Casey forever to write, the words:

**OUR CONNECTION TO HOME**


	8. Unsure reactions

"Is she coming home or not?" Derek's pleading, firm voice boomed over the phone. He hadn't meant to be so harsh, he just felt he was going crazy. He had only gotten 3 emails from Casey in the past 8 months since they left home. His parents had already had to convince him not to be so rash as to go visit her in California several times, almost every week. And it didn't help that almost every night he looked at the photo album she gave him.

"Derek, we really aren't sure. Nora talked to her last night but she wasn't very talkative." His father uneasily replied. Derek knew there was something else, something he wasn't telling him.

"Dad. I need to know if I should be coming home or not in a couple months. She won't even call me. She won't tell me anything about her life in her emails. Please, tell me something. Anything?" Derek paced the floor of his bedroom, running his hand through his hair. He wasn't sure he could ever have been prepared with what his dad told him though.

There was a short silence before he heard a sigh escape from his dad's body.

"We think maybe she's met someone knew, Derek. I'm so sorry." Derek stopped dead in his tracks. He looked up at the ceiling, before bringing his head back down, and his eyes automatically meeting the reflection of himself in the mirror. He sighed once and swallowed back his pain.

"I'll talk to you later, Dad. Tell everyone hi for me." Derek hoarsely spoke out before hanging up the phone, not even waiting for a reply. He sat down on the foot of his bed and looked around his room. His eyes locked on the photo album he laid so delicately on the nightstand next to his bed. The same spot it's lived in for the past 8 month since he arrived here in Florida.

Angrily, dejectedly, he stood up and grabbed the leather jacket that had been a measly substitute for his old one. His father bought it for him as soon as they'd landed here but he knew it would never mean as much to him as his old one had. As he headed to the door of his apartment, he slammed the door at a memory, heading to the beach.

_Casey stood under the street lights, looking at the park. Her eyes were filled with warmth even though she had been visibly cold. He had given her the jacket and she looked amazing in it. And he knew he would never be able to wear that jacket again without imagining her small frame wrapped in it. He knew it would now be hers._

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_"Casey. George just got off the phone with Derek. Honey, you need to talk to him. You need to let us know if you're going to come home or not. We can't keep being the messengers. George is so broken up after talking to Derek. Just, do what's right, Case. I know you will. I love you, call me back please."_

Casey had her back turned to the answering machine in her room. She knew by the caller ID it would be her mother, and she knew she couldn't handle talking to her mom right now.

She pushed back the thought of Derek from her mind, like she'd done so many times before, and continued doing her homework. She couldn't let any distractions pull her away from school. And technically, Kevin wasn't a distraction. He was her study buddy.

Casey leaned across her bed, to her desk chair and felt the cool leather underneath her finger. She'd hung the jacket there as soon as she had arrived and never managed to move it from that spot. Because she knew if she did, it would only bring her more pain of the past.

She knew she needed to decide whether or not she was going to go home this year, but she couldn't imagine being back at her house, back in her room, back near Derek.


End file.
